me & ryan, photograph taken by mackenzie
The language of love.
That alone sounds complex.
And it is.
I remember when Ryan and I were engaged, someone mentioned a book called The 5 Love Langugages. Unfortunately, I was taking 18 semester hours and planning a wedding, so reading a book kind of went to the back burner.
I was reminded of it today when I read Casey's post about love language. I was thrilled to discover that I could take the test online even though I hadn't read the book. So that's just what I did. And then I made him take it, too. Lucky guy.
It was no surprise to me that my love language was physical touch. Even something as simple as Ryan putting his arm around me on the pew in church makes me feel like the most loved girl in the world. And it's been that way through our entire relationship. Holding hands was just a natural thing for both of us. It's kind of just like saying, "I'm here" without really saying anything.
I also was not surprised that Ryan's love language was physical touch. I don't think it's important for people in a relationship to have the same love language, as long as you both understand the other. BUT, I think having the same language works out really well for us because it says that you generally give the type of love language you like to receive, so for us, it makes things a whole lot simpler.
It makes me wonder, if the physical touch language is so prominent in our relationship, will our children (one day) have that same kind of language? I'm no expert but I would bet that it is likely. I just hope that whatever it is, that Ryan and I can fill that need.
The area where Ryan and I differed was that he had a very high physical touch score, and all the other points were distributed almost evenly. For me, on the other hand, I had three really high scores, with physical touch being the highest, and almost nothing in the other two languages. So in some ways, we do have different needs. I hope we both work hard at fulfilling those, I think that's what a relationship is. I liked the way Casey put it, "making sure everyone's tanks are full." It's really just that.
If you take the test or if you already know your language, I'd love to hear it. I'm completely fascinated by this.