Dec 6, 2011

love language

all you need is love
me & ryan, photograph taken by mackenzie

The language of love.
That alone sounds complex.
And it is.

I remember when Ryan and I were engaged, someone mentioned a book called The 5 Love Langugages. Unfortunately, I was taking 18 semester hours and planning a wedding, so reading a book kind of went to the back burner.

I was reminded of it today when I read Casey's post about love language. I was thrilled to discover that I could take the test online even though I hadn't read the book. So that's just what I did. And then I made him take it, too. Lucky guy.

It was no surprise to me that my love language was physical touch. Even something as simple as Ryan putting his arm around me on the pew in church makes me feel like the most loved girl in the world. And it's been that way through our entire relationship. Holding hands was just a natural thing for both of us. It's kind of just like saying, "I'm here" without really saying anything.

I also was not surprised that Ryan's love language was physical touch. I don't think it's important for people in a relationship to have the same love language, as long as you both understand the other. BUT, I think having the same language works out really well for us because it says that you generally give the type of love language you like to receive, so for us, it makes things a whole lot simpler.

It makes me wonder, if the physical touch language is so prominent in our relationship, will our children (one day) have that same kind of language? I'm no expert but I would bet that it is likely. I just hope that whatever it is, that Ryan and I can fill that need.

The area where Ryan and I differed was that he had a very high physical touch score, and all the other points were distributed almost evenly. For me, on the other hand, I had three really high scores, with physical touch being the highest, and almost nothing in the other two languages. So in some ways, we do have different needs. I hope we both work hard at fulfilling those, I think that's what a relationship is. I liked the way Casey put it, "making sure everyone's tanks are full." It's really just that.

If you take the test or if you already know your language, I'd love to hear it. I'm completely fascinated by this.


  1. It must be a fantastic book because I've heard one of my friends was obsessed with it! Unfortunately I work almost 12 hrs per day so no time for reading anything else apart phd papers.

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  2. My love language was 'Quality Time' which is TOTALLY what I would expect. I am a homebody and love spending time with my other :) It has always been important to me that I can actually have and enjoy long and drawn out conversations with someone I'm with. And, as most know ... Evan and I can both talk FOREVER! Words seem to always means more than action with me as well. Idk why? But, that was my second highest score ... words of affirmation. Not surprising again. This test knows me well ;)

    Good post! I love taking little quizzes like that. I'm going to make Evan do it as well.

  3. Yeah, I have heard alot of good things about it, but you are right, it is big commitment of time to fully understand it all!

  4. Yeah, it's kind of funny how you can almost predict what you will be.  I guess that is a good thing, though.  I can definitely see that, you and Evan both do talk alot. Let me know if you can convince him to take it! I think it would be interesting to see if you guys are the same!

    I love quizzes, too. I always like the personality tests and things at school, haha.

  5. Mr. Taylor and his LadyDecember 6, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    thanks for posting this girl. and that picture is just TO perfect! i remember i thought it would be SO much fun to take pictures in a little boat like this. adore!
    xo TJ

  6. Okay, let me know if you and your hubby take the test!  (Husbands are a little hard to convince sometimes, lol).  The boat is actually on a little lake at the house of our friend, Mackenzie's, family.  How lucky to live somewhere with a beautiful setting like that!

  7. Vance & Lori HarrisDecember 6, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    love languages is such a great book... and so important for couples to read! such a great message. :)

  8. Your blog is so cute! I love it, I'm going to take this test right now.. I really want to read the book, too!

    ♥ B
    With Love From Michigan

  9. love languages will seriously change your life, right?!  it's amazing.

    my top two are words and touch.  hubs also. :)  we love us some serious cuddlin'.


  10. I have heard so many wonderful things about it!

  11. Yay! Reading the book is on my after-college-is-over-to-do-list. :)

  12. They really do. We love us some cuddlin' in our house, too. :)

  13. Aww, I really love this.  How cute.  And that picture is so pretty.  I'm a new follower :)  I'd love if you'd stop by my blog some time and say hi (and follow back if you're interested).

  14. i took the test and apparently my man is going to have to tell me he loves me a lot cause i like to hear that i'm loved :)... {words of affirmation} was my top scoring language & my other top two were quality time and touch! :)  i love this and i love this post!!

    and your edits on this pic turned out great gurly, i'm so glad you decided to get in the boat even when there had been a snake in there!!! haha good times!! :)

    see ya soon,

  15. Thank you! And thanks for stopping by my blog!

  16. Well, I am sure you will find the guy that will!!!  I think I deserve extra brave girl points for that day. :)