Feb 11, 2014
My Edited Life
There are days when I sit down to write for this blog and I want to be so open and vulnerable with all of you, but more often than not I just can't bring myself to do it. There are just some things in my life that I want to protect, and not to share. But please know that those moments exist. This blog is a culmination of my thoughts, interests, and my life. But, it's a small fragment of those things. I have plenty more interests than what I share here. Oh goodness, do I have a lot of thoughts that I don't share here. And there is much more to my real life than the things that make it to the blog. This is my edited life. And I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing...after all, I do spend fifteen frantic minutes cleaning the house before company comes over. I don't leave my dirty laundry out for my house guests, and I don't air it out here on the blog either. But that doesn't mean I don't have dirty laundry.
I've been struggling lately with what this blog is to me. And what I want it to be. I think writing a blog can be good. There are definitely things that wouldn't have been written had it not been for this blog (like my last semester and this about encouragement) . But sometimes it causes me to stumble, to get wrapped up in comparing myself to others. So I want you to know, please do not compare yourself to blogger me. The real me has dirty laundry all over the bedroom floor, and the furniture, and actually in the kitchen too. The real me has trouble sleeping sometimes, and trouble focusing at work. The real me sometimes forgets birthdays and doesn't call as often as I should. The real me fights with my husband about important things, and dumb things, too. The real me deletes pictures I don't like and sometimes hoards clothing for way too long.
Social media (and blogs included) has warped our perspective that we are able to peer into each others everyday lives. But that is a lie. There is no way our entire life could be captured. And to even attempt to capture it all would be overwhelming (the same reason I can never keep a daily journal going). Social media only provides us a glimpse into others' lives. The edited glimpse. We choose what we share with people. And I can't decide what is better or worse. Should be share an unedited version of ourselves, or is the blog a place to write about your blessings more than your burdens? I don't know. I was incredibly inspired by Anna's post Dirty Laundry or Highlight Reel? but I still don't have a confident answer. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I don't know what's best for me. How much is too much? And how little is too little?
Please just know that this blog, as it is now, is a part of me. But that's just it, it's only a part of me. My entire life is not outfit posts, photography projects, and crafts. Those are things I choose to use a creative outlet, an escape from all the struggles that I deal with daily (and I do mean daily). Please know that it's okay to look into your closet and find nothing to wear. It's okay to have bad hair days. It's okay to be interested in fashion, hair, and make up. I am. But don't ever let it consume you. Don't let it become so important that it alters your perception of your self worth. Fashion is fun, but it is certainly not a measurement of worth. Your inner self, your inner beauty, is by far the most important thing.
Let your light shine.